27

yep. few more minutes and it's the end of the day, and the start of a new one. it has been so long since i have blogged. i guess i never found anything to say or maybe i didn't think what i had to say was worthwhile.

and yet, i do have a say.

Book Tag

From Mia:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag three people.

"He went down to the end of the corridor.

The boom-chagga-boom of a bass and drums penetrated the door.

Fat Charlie rattled the door handle..."

- From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

miles to go before i sleep

and sleep in what? naught but in death. then a dreamless sleep.

here i go again.

i have one week left with my current job. yes, i am moving again. this time i am moving to another job, but this current one, i will be working only part time until they find someone to replace me. sigh. i do hope they do.

suspended animation

yes. when my friend used those words in instant messaging, it got me thinking. is that where i am at right now? as if somehow things are moving fast all around me and i am suspended in animation. or maybe it looks as if i am suspended in animation because of how fast I am going and how slow the world is moving.

hmmm...

it all depends on where and how you look at it. suspended animation.

me?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

of shredding

i never used to use the shredder at my old job. now i use it everyday, and believe it or not, i enjoy using it. in a way it provides a sort of escape from the office's noise. oh yeah, the office can get noisy. a heck of a lot of noisy.

i miss KP. i miss being able to talk to my friends freely. not having TOO much of a burden. it has become that now. blame is the name of the game. so, i shred. and i think. and i shred some more.

...

so, yes, i have been busy. work has been hectic. most days, when i get home, i end up staring at the computer, or going online, but just checking out friendster and other people's blogs. seriously.

so now here i am once again checking out other people's blogs. and friendster. of course. in the background playing on the dvd is bruce lee on return of the dragon. sigh. i totally flop at making a schedule and it seems as if right now what i do most of the time sucks the joy out of my life. good days are as hard to come by. i always end up wishing for the weekends. it seems it's the only thing that matters. mondays the song playing in my head would be "friday, i'm in love" or "friday on my mind". seriously.

i used to write letters. i would sit. and write letters. to my one friend that i snail mail with. now she's busy. now i'm busy. but u know what? the letters are in my head, in the same way that her letters are written, and yet all halfway done. busy.

i haven't even replied to people's emails. wait.

so, i guess, the thing is, unless i control my thoughts, coherence is absent (huh?)

i'm out.

the LAST look. work.

yes, i have been doing some of that lately. and then some more.

see, i am leaving my present job, a job that i've been in for almost 3 years. it's strange the way we appreciate the little things, the little kind thoughts that we were told, good company, good bosses. and yet, though we are reluctant, we still go on. we leave it all behind. in my case, maybe i won't leave it behind, because maybe someday i will go back to it, someday soon, or some day. because i want to. but right now i have to leave. i need to.

as i look back, the past few years have been a wonderful opportunity, and i have certainly learned a lot, but most of all, i learned what it was really like to be part of a business that had all different races/nationalities.

i felt what it was like when people are talking right in front of me and i have absolutely NO idea as to what is being said, but i know that whatever it is, had something to do with me. and then of course, when other people would talk and they never knew that i understood what they were saying, completely oblivious to the fact that hey, i could really understand, so, ah, sweet victory, when once, i had the chance to say something to them in filipino, and the stunned silence as well as the shocked look on their faces that followed. sweet.

from the time when the days seem to be a blur because of all the things i had to do. the time i was being trained, when i was training someone else myself. hey, i did it all. but right now it's time to move. so i deal a last glance, a last look. and off to work i go.