San Francisco

my favorite place to be...
pictures from my phone.

@ the car:





the golden gate bridge:




view @ cliff house:




heart.




sigh.
pictures.
more than words.

When you wish upon a Star

"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires will come to you

If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star as dreamers do"

a cause, i fight.

dsL

ah, to jump into the bandwagon, all for a price. hahaha. well, no, not really, i just got myself DSL, and hurray, hurray, as i expected, i love it! i absolute-a-mente just lurv it! course!

lately, i've been dreaming...

i have been proposed to the 3rd time this morning - IN MY DREAM! As I lay there in my semiconcious, somnambulistic state, this time a guy i know, i actually know was the one that proposed. and i decided, i have really had enough of these dreams. CSi guy, faceless human, and then him. waking life seems to me cramped with mundane everyday things, and yet my dreams have been anything but ordinary. but, operating on the fact that dreams are indeed an extension of what may have happened during the day, well, it seems there is a far more subliminal context in these.

but oh well, subliminal or not, i wake up with a racing heart, and an almost undeniable feeling of want. and then i wake up to reality.

dream goes this way:

1st: clifftop. billowing white chiffon. white chairs. garden. flowers. guests. someone else getting married. then announces that they will not get married. then i was standing there and then just as suddenly csi guy was there. round stone. a yes. sister coleman - cellphone call. guests. Seal/s. wait. then go.

2nd: in a window. waiting. faceless guy. ring. wax paper. opened. heart shaped. no stone. ask. heart is mine. round stone? tears. in then end, a heart.

3rd: serial killer looking for someone. always there. can't escape. me. always me. somewhere along the line, HE comes along. a ring. a kiss. then killer found me. a knife. and then the memory of HE.

that is it. and you know what i don't get, is why? especially the latest one.

why?

"for what it's worth, it was worth all the while..."

so, what am I talking about? I guess just life in general. mine, in this case. obviously. random song lyrics are illuminated in my mind as I hear them. and just as sudden I play it over and over and over in my mind.

and I begin to think back. 24 years. what have I achieved? who have I lost? whether by choice or not. who am I? round and round thoughts begin to sally forth, in brilliant flashes of light or a dull, dimming conflagration of that which once was. a love that once was felt, but I being myself did not do anything, did nothing but wait. or an idea propelling light in a light bulb, but that instantaneously dies along with the thought. just fragments. fragmentary meanderings on thoughtless actions, or carefully thought about reactions resulting on a dead end. a dead end because in the end, I chose wrong. and yet on the other hand, I know that I am in the right path. though I have made many wrong choices, I am there. getting to where I should be. so that in the end it really is worth all the while, and as the song goes "it's something unpredictable but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life."